Reboot: June 3, 2012

In The Program on June 3, 2012 at 6:48 am

Well, ever since mothers day I feel like I have not been following my plan whatsoever and surprise, surprise, I am up about four pounds at 201 lbs at my monthly weigh-in.  Boo!  My experiment with mindful eating while away didn’t go horribly.  Some days I was great at having reasonable portion sizes, but other days I indulged (especially days I was mentally and emotionally drained: stress eating for sure).

For a week and a half I was visiting my mother who truly is an excellent cook (she is the kind who makes lavender cake from scratch and her idea of a basic salad involves stinky cheese and carmelized something or other).  She is a true gourmet foodie and I can’t get enough of her cooking.  Some days I had dessert for lunch and for dinner!

It is funny how quickly the weight shows up.  I can feel the difference in my thighs and see the difference in my face.  Ugh.

So now what?

It feels like for most of my conscious life I have been thinking “I’ll start tomorrow” on weight loss.  I would be on a plan for a few days and then fall off and say “I’ll start tomorrow” or “I’ll start Monday” or “I’ll start after ____”.  It started very young with me.  I so don’t want this to be the cycle I model for my daughter.  I hope by rebooting my Program and this blog that I will get back on track to finding a long term solution to my negative relationship with food.

I hate being back here again, feeling defeated by yet another beginning, yet another weigh-in over 200lbs…  But, that is where I am and I have to dust off my bruised ego, put my head down and reboot.  I still have lost over 40lbs since my daughter was born and if you spread that out into months (although it was all in the first two months) that is 10lbs a month…  That fact actually makes me feel a lot better and I know that the more confident I am, the easier it will be to think clearly and sanely about my food intake.

Wish me luck as I reboot!


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